To Pa With Love

It seems, not so long ago that I held my Pa’s slender but masculine fingers while I tottered down the path in my flimsy frock, hair running loose over my eyes and my shoes quacking with every step I took. The mere touch of his hand gave me the warmth and assurance that he will be there for me, no matter what happened. I felt on top of the world when he lifted me up and carried me around, introducing me to everybody like I was his queen. He treated me like one and I felt like one. I felt indomitable in his mere presence.

I grew up without knowing the passage of time. Pa was always in the center of my world. “Pa, today I drew a “butthefy” (read butterfly) at school. It was very colorful!” Pa’s smiling response would be, “Is it my dear? How many colors did you paint?” Just a mere question as to what I did at school made me feel as important as a senior ambassador in the consulate office!

He was always around, watching me grow up with all the absurdities and idiosyncrasies of a bolshie adolescent, with a patient yet vigilant eye. I was given all the freedom I could fancy, yet, he instilled a sense of responsibility in me, the same responsibility which made me think a million times of the consequences, before I did/do anything. Letting Pa down was something I could never imagine. It would be over my dead body.

Time raced, I grew up and Pa certainly let me pursue my studies in accordance with my interests. Nothing was imposed upon me. And when I did slip up a bit, he was there behind me like a cushion, never letting me feel the thud of the fall. Pa was my shock absorber. I would run to Pa with the smallest of elations and the smallest of distresses. But his stoicism amazed me. I couldn’t see a trace of the emotions swinging to its extremes on his face. He was always calm and composed, serene and smiling. I’ve seen him brave the most difficult situations with the least bit of soreness and smarting. Pa has been a role model to a whole lot of us and we’ve learnt to be courageous by merely looking at him handle situations and people.

Right from the time he held my hand and taught me how to walk, till the time he handed me over to a wonderful person whom I call my husband, Pa has given me the best: the best education, the best values, the best family and the best life.

The only way I can show my gratitude Pa, is by being a good human being, and I hope I’m being one, as per your standards.

When I think of you Pa, I can only think of the poem written by Rudyard Kipling. You truly lived and epitomized the poem:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Pa, you are an institution. You have many students aspiring to learn from you and emulate you. Your legacy will live on long.

Pa, I love you. Pa, I miss you.